My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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