Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
