Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
