It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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