the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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