Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
