It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
