My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
love makes seman taste better
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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