Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Dick very happy bro
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Dear god my vagina.
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