I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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