Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
