i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
