my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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