u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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