there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
