So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Also, beer. Big fan.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
