oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
