Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
