I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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