she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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