We're like a lot better than the average bears
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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