I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize