just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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