oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
