Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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