Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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