I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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