you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I supernannyed him into submission
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
