ya dads aren't the best wingmen
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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