My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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