Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This baby is an asshole
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
