worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
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My ATM looks so different sober.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
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Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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