Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
