Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
