You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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