We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
