If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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