There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
