i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It's rum buckets o'clock
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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