Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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