stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
