I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
