youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
