I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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