Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
