apparently the secret to your success is patron
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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