We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
