Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
