I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
