Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
