He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
