Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
