I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
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the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
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did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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