are you so shy because you have an std?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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