you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
