and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
