I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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