I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
