my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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