He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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